UC0079 as portrayed by gundamworld
by Nightmare-Zero
Summary: This is the UC 0079 timeline as played by people from #gundamworld. God help us...
1. Prologue

Gundam 0079: Redone by the Members of Gundamworld.  
  
Okay. The year is UC0079 and the Zeons... do you REALLY want to hear this? *sees heads being shaken* Good. Zeons... war... atrocities. You get the picture. Now, to make this a truly unique fic, I WILL GIVE THE CHARACTER ROSTER!!!! Yes, no more freaking wondering as to who someone is! Here goes!  
  
Master_Ranma: Char  
Quatre: Bright  
Skyrina: Fraubo  
SonRyoga: Amauro  
Rueben_Solace: Kai  
Tonurics: Multiple badguys (Yes Ton, we all hate you ^_^)  
Ayanami: Mirai  
DaGhost: Multiple badguys (I especially hate you. Op stealer...)  
Verg: Ryu  
Nightmare_Zero [me]: No-one. I randomly appear in random mobile suits or on the bridge to annoy the characters. I am so evil...  
Mortimer: Haro (BWAHAHAHA!!! I told you I'm evil. Please don't ban me.)  
  
Okay. Ummm..... I know, the kids. I have no-one to play them... oh well. OOH! I know! They get kickbanned! Wait... I need a Haiyato.  
  
Dragoon_Lan: Haiyato  
  
Okay! Let the fun begin! P.S. If I get anyone's character wrong... then go to hell if you have a complaint! ^_^ 


	2. Chapter One: The Censor Hunt begins oh, ...

Announcer Dude: The year is 0079 of the Universal Century. The Principality of Zeon has-  
  
A gunshot is heard. Zero enters the room.  
  
Nightmare_Zero: ^^' Sorry. Kinda forgot about him. Oh, right. One more thing. Since this is a Toonami edit and based off a chatroom, 'killing' is either 'kicking', 'banning' or 'kickbanning'. I know. You all hate censorship. [hushed voice] Give me 2 chapters. I should have found and killed the censors by then :).  
  
Near Side 7-  
Ranma: Look at my cool Musai! This thing is sooooo cool! And my Red Zaku!  
Soldier: Isn't it pink?  
Ranma:... *kicks soldier* Ok then. *sees huge ship pass viewscreen*  
Soldier 2: Sir! A huge ship passed the viewscreen! Should we follow it, or stand here and moronically babble bad-guy type stuff for the next half-hour while it gets away?  
Ranma: I say we babble! *starts babbling a cool speech*  
  
Later, after Ranma finally shut up and followed the ship-  
SIDE 7:-  
The White Base has docked and the Gundam parts are being unloaded. But let's skip the cool stuff and go over to SonRyoga's house.  
Skyrina: *opens door* Son? Son, are you here?  
Mortimer: *rolls in* Hello Sky! Hello Sky!  
Skyrina: o_O *looks at author* You've got to be kidding me.  
  
*eating Ramen noodles* MMmmm... noodles... *gets hit in the head with a rock* OW! What?  
  
Skyrina: Mortimer... is a 1 foot high rolling ball?  
  
Yup.  
  
Skyrina: You kinda forgot that he is a PERV!!!  
Mortimer: *is under Sky looking up her skirt* Cute thong! Cute thong!  
Skyrina: -_-* *kicks Mortimer into a wall*  
Mortimer: Ouch! Won't do it again!  
Skyrina: Good. Where is Son?  
Mortimer: Upstairs!  
Skyrina: *walks up the stairs* SON!  
SonRyoga: ...  
Skyrina: ... SON! *throws component at Son*  
SonRyoga: *keeps working*   
Skyrina: *puts Son into a headlock*  
SonRyoga: AARGH! Go away! *kicks Sky*  
Skyrina: *autojoins* Hey! What was that for?  
SonRyoga: I'm trying to work!  
Announcer: Attention all residents! An evacuation order has been given! Repeat! An- Wait! Who are you? What are you doing with that plastic explosive?   
Dragoon_Lan: What does it look like I'm doing? *attaches explosive to the announcer*  
Announcer: Wait!  
  
BOOM!  
  
Announcer: *is kickbanned*  
SonRyoga: o_O Well... that was entertaining...  
Skyrina: Have you even eaten yet?  
SonRyoga: Actually, no. *grabs at something to eat*  
Skyrina: *feels Son's hand go to her nether regions* PERVERT!!! *whacks Son over the head with a hammer*  
SonRyoga: OW! Where the hell did you get that? Never mind. If we have to evac, then let's go.  
  
And so, SonRyoga, still feeling the repercussions of accidentally grabbing at the forbidden fruit, agrees to leave the house and evacuate.  
  
Dragoon_Lan: Yo! Son! Ah, I see you and Sky made up!  
SonRyoga: o_O You asshole!  
Censor: *pops in* You can't use that word!  
SonRyoga: Oh really? !k  
ChanServ: *appears* Ummm... you don't have the privalages to do that.  
SonRyoga: What?  
ChanServ: Yeah. The evil Censors are higher than you.  
Nightmare_Zero: *runs in* Ah HA! I found a Censor!  
Cansor: DAMN! It's Zero!  
Nightmare_Zero: *kills censor* Good. *looks around* ChanServ! I was looking for you! You're gonna spoil the fun!  
ChanServ: Damn! He's onto me! *runs*  
Nightmare_Zero: Oh no you don't! *chases after ChanServ*  
All: o_O  
SonRyoga: Are you evaccing too Lan?  
Dragoon_Lan: Yup. Besides, I hear the way the script goes, I get to pilot a MS with REALLY BIG BOOM BOOM STICKS!!!  
Skyrina & SonRyoga: o_O  
Mortimer: *looking up Sky's skirt again* Thong! Thong!  
Skyrina: /kick Mortimer  
Mortimer: Can't kick me! Can't kick me!  
SonRyoga: *kicks Mortimer*  
Mortimer: *autojoins* Evil man! Evil man!  
  
And so, the little band of adventurers bravely ventured into the Forbidden Woods... oops. Sorry. Wrong fic ^^' Ahem. And so, the three humans and the ball thing went to the evacuation shelter. Meanwhile-  
  
Aboard Ranma's Musai-  
Tonurics: So, me and DaGhost are being cast as the two idiots who challenge the Gundam?  
Ranma: Yup.  
DaGhost: How can he do this to us? He isn't even an op!  
Nightmare_Zero: *appears* Yes I am.  
Tonurics: How?  
ChanServ: He made me do it!  
Nightmare_Zero: There you are! I'll get you and make you make me a co-owner!!!  
ChanServ: Damn! *disappears with Zero following him*  
Ranma: Now get down there and get kicked!  
DaGhost: Slavedriver.  
  
And so DaGhost and Tonurics land on Side 7 and begin killing stuff. I won't show Son's father because he bores me. Waitaminute. Sayla. Haven't cast her... I know! I'll have Nickawa play her! Characters don't really match, but who cares?  
  
Quatre: Wait! The scene with Son's father is where I make my cameo!  
  
And?  
  
Quatre: I HAVE TO MAKE MY CAMEO!!!  
  
No you don't.  
  
Quatre: *places hand on kickban button for ChanServ*  
Nightmare_Zero: *appears, dragging a tied up ChanServ by some rope* Ha! It won't work! I have ChanServ tied up right here!  
Quatre: Damn. I'll just use my OP COMMAND TO KICK YOU! /kick !  
Random Bot: *phases in front of Zero and takes the kick command*  
Quatre: Bastard.  
Censor_2: You can't say that word.  
Quatre & Zero: o_O /kick !  
Censor_2: *avoids command* Ha! I'm not as weak as my predecesor!  
Nightmare_Zero: *shoots Censor_2* There. 2 down, 3 to go.  
Quatre: Why do bad guys happen in 5s?  
Nightmare_Zero: Dunno. Can we get back to the fic now?  
Quatre: Only if I get my cameo.  
Nightmare_Zero: Fine.  
  
And so we return to our regularly scheduled fic.  
  
Sons_Father: Hello Quatre. I hear you're the new Ensign assigned to the White Base.  
Quatre: Yes sir!  
Sons_Father: Sadly, those two Zakus killing things will kill the regular crew of the ship, leaving you and some n00bs to command it.  
Quatre: ... I don't think you should know that.  
Sons_Father: Nope. Oh look. I just got hit by a huge machinegun shell, which tore out my guts. But due to the fact that this is a Toonami edit, you see nothing.  
Censor_3: That's right.  
Quatre: Another one? *shoots at Censor*  
Censor_3: Ha! You have no power over me!  
  
Just then, a freak bazooka shell hit the Censor. ^_^ I am so evil. *looks at checklist* Okay. Two left. Heh heh heh :)  
  
Sons_Father: I should die about now. *dies*  
Quatre: Okay. *checks off on script* Now... *checks script* right. RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! *runs away*  
  
Meanwhile, DaGhost was actually beginning to hit things. He killed: 2 chickens, a cow and 2 goats. Oh yeah. He killed Sky's parents too.  
  
Skyrina: Damn. There goes my money flow.  
SonRyoga: Hey, you're supposed to be getting on like a whiny little bitch. *looks around for Censor_4*  
Censor_4[Hiding in box]: You can't say that!  
Nightmare_Zero: *walks up to box* Hmm. *kicks box around* Nope. No-one in there.  
Censor_4: phew. *sees incoming missile* Oh no!  
  
Boom. HAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Dragoon_Lan: Hey, can I blow up the last one?  
  
Sure.  
  
Dragoon_Lan: YAY! :) *runs up to Censor_5*  
Censor_5: Can I help you?  
Dragoon_Lan: *plants bomb on Censor_5*  
Censor_5: What the-?  
  
BOOM!!! AHAHAHA!!!  
  
Dragoon_Lan: Burn! BURN!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHA!!  
  
Okay. Back to SonRyoga.  
  
SonRyoga: *arguing with Skyrina* It says right here that you are supposed to whine and cry!  
Skyrina: I am SO not humiliating myself!  
SonRyoga: Yes you are!  
  
Okay. I need to mess with them. By some strange plot hole, they wind up in each other's arms kissing. :) I am soooooooooooo evil!  
  
Skyrina: *breaks embrace* What the hell?  
SonRyoga: Zero, I am SO gonna ban you.  
  
You can't.  
  
SonRyoga: YES I CAN! *sees Zero holding ChanServ captive* Damn.  
  
:D  
  
SonRyoga: Ah, I'll bitch slap her anyway. *bitch-slaps Skyrina for the heck of it* now get to the Evacuation area!  
Skyrina: What will you do?  
SonRyoga: What else? Kick THEM!!!  
  
The Censors are all gone, you know.  
  
SonRyoga: Really? In that case, I will rip their asses into little pieces and then ahniallate them with a bazooka round.  
  
Cool.  
  
SonRyoga: *somehow finds a dossier marked Top Secret in his back pocket* How'd that get there? Oh well. *opens it and starts reading*  
  
Umm... Gundam? Jump in? Kill stuff?  
  
SonRyoga: Right. *jumps into the Gundam*  
Writer: Umm... the script says you have to act like a whiny little teenage so-and-so.  
SonRyoga: ... *shoots Writer* *looks at other Writers* Any of you go a problem?  
Writers: Nope. We're fine.  
SonRyoga: Cool. *shoots them anyway* Okay. Now... *starts activating the Gundam*  
Tonurics: The new Feddie MS. *sees it move* Oh, SHIT! *starts running*  
DaGhost: You can't run! We have to fight for the glory of Zeon! Besides, he can't touch us. ChanServ is out of commision.  
ChanServ: *appears and fuses with Gundam*  
Tonurics: You were saying?  
DaGhost: Uhhh.... run?  
Tonurics: Good idea. *both run*  
Ranma: *appears in pink Zaku* Pink? IT'S RED, GODDAMNIT!!!!  
  
Fine.  
  
Ranma: *appears in RED Zaku* Thank you. WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING???  
Tonurics: Running.  
DaGhost: Yup.  
Ranma: You can't do that! You both have to die!  
DaGhost: Says who?  
Nightmare_Zero: Me and the Writers.  
Tonurics: But they're dead.  
Nightmare_Zero: Point. *hires new Writers* There. Now be good boys and die peacefully.  
DaGhost: No.  
Ranma: -_-* *gets fed up, grabs both Tonurics and Da Ghost and throws them at the Gundam*  
  
And both DaGhost and Tonurics disintegrated on coming within 10 feet of the Gundam. Ph33r the 3vil of ChanServ and a CoOwner. *shudders* Now... *yanks on rope, pulling ChanServ back to him* *ties ChanServ up again* Back to the show!  
  
SonRyoga: I gotta catch up with the White Base. But they're so far away. Zero! Throw me one of those convenient plot holes!  
  
Sure thing. *plot hole opens*  
  
SonRyoga: Thanks. *jumps in* *appears in the White Base*  
Nameless_Expendable_Crew_Member: Whoa! How'd you do that?  
SonRyoga: Convenient plot hole. Very useful.  
Nameless_Expendable_Crew_Member: Cool. I want one!  
SonRyoga: You'll have to ask Zero. *sees guy get killed* Thank God. He was annoying. Wait... how was he killed?  
  
Meanwhile, on the bridge-  
  
Quatre: Okay people! Onto Earth and operation Odessa!  
All: ?_?  
Quatre: Rrriiiggghhhttt... forgot. You people don't have a.... STOLEN SCRIPT!!!  
Nightmare_Zero: I'll take that! *swipes script and disappears*  
Quatre: Damn. I READ THE WHOLE THING!!! It's still all in here! *taps head*  
  
And so, through a nice little plot hole, Quatre's memory of ever reading the script was erased.  
  
Quatre: Damn you.  
Mortimer: Thong! Thong! *rolls under Ayanami* Cute butt! Cute butt! *rolls under Nickawa* No panties! No panties!  
All three: o_O *pull out hammers and begin pounding Mortimer into the ship*  
Rueben_Solace: Ahem. Quick question. WHO IS STEERING THE SHIP????  
All: ? Oops...  
  
Why do I find myself using plot holes so often? Anyway... through yet ANOTHER plot hole, the ship magically arrives where it is supposed to be, and Ranma attacks.  
  
Ranma: BWAHAHAHA!!! I will kill all!!!  
SonRyoga: I'm a coowner. I'll kickban you.  
Nightmare_Zero: Not anymore. *holds up a bound ChanServ* I 'persuaded' him to make me the Owner. You are now NOTHING!!!!  
SonRyoga: Damn.  
Nightmare_Zero: *points at Ranma* Neither is he.  
Ranma: Damn. Okay then. Get ready.... *throws cracker* RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!!  
SonRyoga: Hmm... uhhh.... Isn't he supposed to be winning?  
Ranma: Oh. Right. *returns and starts beating Son around*  
Verg: Oh no you don't! *flies out in G-Fighter and starts attacking*  
Ranma: I thought it was supposed to be a corefighter!  
Verg: Gotta love plot holes. *shoots Tonurics*  
Tonurics: What the fuck?  
Censor_6: Can't say that.  
All: o_O ONE LIVES!!!!  
Censor_6: Oops...  
All: *shoot Censor silmuntaneously*  
Tonurics: Anyhoo. *dies (again)*  
Ranma: I will return! *runs*  
All Feds: We won! We won!!!  
  
And so ends chapter one. To come in chapter 2: Tonurics is cast as: All the Zabis DaGhost is cast as Icelina. Cross-dressing is very necessary. And finally... Stuff happens. Good night. P.S. If I missed any part of the storyline.... I don't give a fuck. This is MY Fanfic, so SUCK OFF!!!  
  
Censor_7: You can't say any of those words. *gets killed by flying monkey holding a candy cane*  
Monkey: Moo.  
  
o_O Never mind that. Anyhoo... g'night! 


End file.
